Learning to accept.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

When I saw my previous schoolmate's facebook, the photos of them getting married, managed to get scholarship, studying in famous courses, getting good jobs...I (istighfar) sigh (don't judge me, I am happy for them but for certain reasons I feel sad for myself).

I hope for those rizq too and when I start comparing myself with them I feel like I am just an elf and they are gojira (gozilla). suddenly it feels like

'what I've achieved so far is just too small compared to theirs,'

Yes I know that Facebook is not telling the whole life of a person. Basically people just shows the happiness of their life, but the real life might be the opposite. There must be tough times that they need to face.

As I walked with a friend of mine, I told her, "If it didn't happen to me, I think my life will be better."

"I think I would be able to achieve as good as them...or even better," heart filled with sadness.

I am not regretting any actions of my past, because I know that I had never done anything wrong and I had tried my best in life, but the destiny for me had been written.

I need to go through the hard times. Situations that I never imagine, being underestimated and hopeless in the eyes of my love ones. It was just so painful and bitter. People talk. People talk as if they know the whole story...and only God knows how stress it was.

Sometimes I just pray in my heart so that one day they will be in my shoes.

"Don't say that. Those tests that Allah puts on you was just a preparation for your bigger victory," she advised me.

Heart filled with tears, life goes on....

- till now, I'm still learning to accept and be grateful to Allah SWT for everything that I have...